The Grand Finale

Hello, faithful readers. And if you are reading this now, you are indeed faithful. You are about to be rewarded for your six year trial of faith by the piece de resistance. 

Every delicious thing comes to an end, and this, dear readers, is our end.  

Yes, that's Roscoe. He's now a married man and has received his just desserts...and so have we. Here is the final critique of our last desserts.

The decor was simple and rustic and simply rustically charming.

Love quotes, twinkle lights, branches on the table, giant balloons - all in a warehouse ("They just painted this place white!"-Roscoe). If there were any place and decor that lived up to the name of Roscoe, this was it.

Now, on to the food. Served on tree trunks.

A plethora of desserts - cookies, cakes, trifles, flavored water.

To our left is the caramel chocolate cake of decadence. As a rule of thumb, you should never start with the most decadent. We failed. It was too rich, too quick. We devoured the filling, because it was light and heavenly.

To our right, the sugar cake. We don't exactly remember what flavor it was. We remember it tasted like pure sugar. Although not our favorite, an obvious crowd favorite as it was the only cake completely gone when we went back to take pictures.

The cookies added a variety with some crunch to the cakes' munch. They were nice in betweeners.

The trifle was what a trifle should be.

Our mouths were in desperate need of water. Dessert critics should never let their palates be tainted by pure water. Only fancy water will suffice for their sophisticated tastebuds. One touch of tap water to those treasured tastebuds and their critiques would never be trusted again.

The red water had too much sugar for us. Adrienne found the citrus water refreshing. Ashley could have drank a gallon of the cucumber water.

We are ending the dessert club, but considering beginning the sandwich club.

The bbq pork on a pretzel roll was delicious, minus the bbq pork (underwhelming).

"Whatever this is, I want it every day of my life" -Adrienne (Thinking it was a "pancake" sandwich but really just a smashed down roll, still not disappointed in the least.)

"This caprese sandwich is what they must have ate in the City of Enoch." -Ashley

The true jewel of the evening, was our final dessert. What the server referred to as the "Ho Ho Cake", but what we lovingly call the (making)Whoopie Pie Cake.

This last picture is our final critique. We couldn't eat that Ho Ho fast enough.

And so, faithful readers, we never found our ultimate cupcake. The DC Dessert Club was the best of times and the worst of times (for our tastebuds). 

We bravely went where other dessert critics refused to go, and we did it all for you, faithful readers. Our critiques are ending, but our inspiration never will.

Roscoe's Reception's Overall Score:

Price: Priceless
Taste: Whooooopee!
Service: Like a YW's activity
Atmosphere: #Hipsterish/CreepyEmptyWarehousethatwasjustpaintedwhiteish
Date Factor: No dates. Just the most united, trustworthy Dessert Club to ever grace blogger.com

Sprinkles--So much bad in such a small package.

Hello faithful readers,

I reviewed Sprinkles in Georgetown with guest reviewer Michelle Z. Sprinkles has all of the makings for a great cupcake place. The staff is courteous, the store and the cupcakes are beautiful, and it is in a great location. I usually operate on the assumption that all cupcakes have some good in them. A cupcake might not be to my liking but there is probably someone out there who might really enjoy it. That being said, I could not find anything good about the strawberry cupcake. It was everything that could go wrong in a dessert compressed into one small cupcake. The cake was dry and the icing had a Crisco taste to it. It was truly amazing how bad it was. I have no choice but to create a new classification--not fit for human consumption under any circumstances!!! It was so bad that we had to throw away most of the cupcake and that is pretty major considering that I ate all the leftovers of the cupcake (stale muffin dipped in chocolate) at the frozen custard place in DC. Keep on keepin on.

Roscoe

Buzz Bakery--Awesome cupcake place except for the cupcakes.

This week I reviewed the Buzz Bakery on Slaters Lane with two guest reviewers (shout out to Holly and Tali). I would like to start by saying I love this place. First, it is open to midnight. Meaning that when your sitting in your house at 10:30 pm and have a hankering for some sweets no problemo. For the fellas (I seriously doubt any dudes read this blog but it is worth a try) this is the perfect place for a late night dessert date. The shop is more of a cafe with hip music and free wifi. The staff are totally awesome. They are always friendly and I always enjoy myself. Case in point, I asked the employee to give me a description of the lemon cupcake and he told me the following "Imagine that you are in a giant house that is made out of a cupcake that is really hot inside. You drink a cup of lemonade and it is the best lemonade that you have ever had. That is what the lemon cupcake taste like." Honestly--after that description it would have been a gross crime against humanity not to try the cupcake. So we ordered the lemon , flower power, and chocolate ganache cupcakes.

The cupcakes where alright--they are average at best. So much potential!!!! I really really, really, wanted this place to be great and it was, except for the cupcakes. I give this place a solid 3. I will have to admit that my guest reviewers had differing opinions but they will have to start there own blog. Advice to owners--work on the cupcakes and keep the crazy guy that serves the cupcakes. The kid has chutzpah. Roscoe out.

Red Velvet--An Insult to all Good Cupcakes

Hello Loyal Readers,

Last week we took our highly sophisticated pallets to Red Velvet by Dupont Circle. I will have to admit that the experience started off on the wrong foot. Adrian and Ashley had dropped me off to get the cupcakes as there was no available parking. I walked into a completely empty store and stood at the counter for five minutes. Finally I yelled hello. I was greeted by the flush of toilet instantly followed by the appearance of an employee. Let me emphasize INSTANTLY. There was no swoosh of a sink turning on, no click of a soap dispenser, no rolling of paper towels. Unless his name is Marty McFly and he has a time machine I have a sinking suspicion that the employee did not wash his hands!! Anyway, the employee was courteous and served me four carefully chosen cupcakes (yes without gloves). I selected the black velvet, peanut butter cup, summertime, and Key West--shout out to Fla. The cupcakes where mediocre and did not compare to the quality that we have become accustomed to. That being said the Key West was the saving grace. The flavors where well blended and the Swiss white chocolate butter cream icing was awesome. We ranked that cupcake a 3.75. We ranked the cupcakes together at 2.75. Factoring in parking and poor sanitation, I think that Red Velvet Dupont Circle is a solid 2.25. In other words those cupcakes where an insult to all good cupcakes everywhere. Roscoe out.

Bakeshop

After visiting Bakeshop once before and not being terribly impressed, we decided to give it another try. Minutes after tasting their cupcakes I started thinking of all of the things I could have bought with the $9.59 that I just wasted. Folks, I don't want to be a downer on this place, but I don't ever plan to return.

Dreamsicle: The cake was ok, a white cake mixed with an orangey flavor. The frosting, however, tasted like it came from a vat of chemicals. Ok, that's a little harsh, but something was definitely wrong with their frosting.

Kit Kat Cupcake: If I made a chocolate cupcake from a boxed mix, it would have tasted better than this one. The only thing it had going for it was the piece of kit kat on top.

Chipwich: Bakeshop got some redemption from me on this little number. The chipwich was good, but not out of this world. I would probably go back to buy one of these...if they let me back in the door after reading this review. (Ouch)

Final Score: 2 out of 5

p.s. At least some people like this place. Good for them.

Heller's Bakery

Sometimes you're in DC and you're looking for this interesting dessert place that you heard about and sometimes that place just can't be found. This "sometime" happened to us on one of our DC Dessert Club outings, but 'luckily" we ran into a bakery on our journey, Heller's Bakery to be exact. What this place has going for it is its old fashion image, it's very nostalgic. The desserts on the other hand left a void in our hearts and in our stomachs.

Here on the left, we've got a cannoli, not a choice favorite. The initial taste was quite good, but when we went back for another try, the taste factor went down hill.

On the right, we've got the winner for the day, the eclair. From the filling, to the pastry, to the frosting, this was delicious.

I can't even remember what this was, and I ordered it!! It was a creamy cake with fruit on top. The cake was actually fairly moist. I liked it well enough, but it wasn't outstanding.

The pineapple upside-down cake was once again, just ok. We definitely like our roommates homemade version better! Speaking of, here's a picture of our DC Dessert Club guest of the day, Alex.

Just basking in the sun, while avoiding having to eat another bite of that cake.

And the all time disappointment of the day was the Shamrock cupcake. It had so much potential based on its complete greeness, ok maybe not. The cake turned out to be very dry, the frosting wasn't anything special, and I'm not even sure what the shamrock on top was made out of.

The shamrock on the shirt was cute though, thanks to Bryce for dressing so festively.

In the immortal words of Roscoe "I want to punch it in its cupcake face!"

Heller's Bakery: 2.1 out of 5

Boccato Gelato

What is the first thing you should do when after months and months of suffering through the deathly cold of winter you find yourself experiencing the first warmth of spring?  Go get something cold.  Well, at least that's what we did.

We checked out Boccato Gelato in Arlington on the delightful Wilson Boulevard.  The weather was delightful.  The street was delightful.  The service was delightful, especially the delightfully sarcastic comments made when we were taking our delightful time to decide on which flavors we wanted.  Who could blame us though?  The rows of bright gelato looked oh so refreshing and delightful, who wouldn't struggle to choose just two?

Each gelato bin was delightfully decorated.  For example, check out this delightful Cookies n' Cream Monster:

I got a delightful double scoop of double delightful mango and only slightly delightful pistachio.

Roscoe was the winner of the day with his delightful choice flavors: XXX and black raspberry, both of which came together for an extra delightful combination.

I don't know if this is just the delightful weather talking, but I would like to rate Boccato Gelato a delightful 4.1 out of 5.